Secret Santa
by HermioneK
Summary: A secret santa story for RangerHanna56 on tumblr :)


It was a beautiful, sunny day in the magical land of Araluen. Home of the fifty fiefs and the secretive Ranger Corps.

One member of the Ranger Corps, Will Treaty, was busy sweeping. He had been apprenticed to Halt, one of the gruffliest, surliest, stingiest rangers. Only until you got to know him, though. Then he turned out to be a giant sweetheart. But he'll kill you if you ever say that.

Now Will was old enough to be married to Alice. He had graduated from the Ranger Corps as well, earning his silver oakleaf as a mark for all his hard, often deadly – and _underappreciated_ – work. He still liked to stay at Halt's place, partially out of habit and partially because they had a strange, surrogate familial relationship. Each of them had a soft spot for the other, although they would be hard put to ever admit it. The two had been through too much to ever deny their bond, however.

Anyhow, Will was simply standing there, sweeping the front porch like he had hundreds of times. Sweep left, sweep right. Pile the dust up. Brush it off the porch. Boring work.

A package fell from the sky!

_What ? _Will was shocked. Could this be a caffeine-induced hallucination? _Maybe I should drink less coffee..._

He walked over to the foreign object. It was metallic and rectangular shaped. When Will turned it over, he was startled to see part of it fell out. _I broke it! No, wait, that's...a cup of some sort?_ He held it up to the sunlight, squinting at it and inspecting it. It was made of glass and looked like a giant bowl with a handle. _Maybe it was a cup for giants?_

There was a tag attached to the top and it said 'For Chocho'. Will gritted his teeth at the nickname from his time in Nihon-Ja. He never understood what it meant for the longest time, only to have it hurriedly explained at the last minute. The nickname was a source of annoyance for him ever since. Will immediately knew that this gift was from his friends in Nihon-Ja, but it still didn't explain the object in his hands.

He brought it inside the cabin, hoping Alyss or Halt could figure it out. The two sat there drinking coffee and talking. _Figures,_ thought Will. _Leave me to do all the cleaning work..._

"What's this?" asked Alyss when Will placed the device on the table between them. Halt merely raised an eyebrow. Will was used to his former master's wordless conversations.

"I don't know," said Will. "I found it outside."

Halt frowned and inspected it much the same way Will had. He, however, had the foresight not to drop the giant bowl with the handle.

"Looks like you can lift this top part," said Halt. He lifted said top part, and inside there was a note. It merely said _Beans Here_ in hurried script. Halt furrowed his brow and pursed his lips. "'Beans here'?" he muttered. "But what kind of beans?"

"Green beans?" suggested Alyss.

After receiving a glance from Halt, Will knew he was meant to fetch the beans. He went to a cupboard where some green beans had been preserved for the winter months and opened the jar. Pulling out the green beans, he placed them inside the device.

"Now what?" he asked, ever the curious one.

Suddenly the machine made a _whirring_ noise. Halt and Will would both deny that they had ever jumped – it's not as if they were _scared_! It was just startling! Come on, anybody would jump. Even the famous bear from Nihon-Ja.

Alyss stared intently at the machine. Suddenly, a substance poured in the bowl with the handle. It was green and smelled like green beans, but it sure didn't look like green beans. It looked like someone had chewed them up and spit them out.

Alyss's face lit up. "I know what it is!" she cried.

"What?" asked Halt tersely.

"Will, go find some coffee beans!"

Their eyes were alight with curiosity and excitement.

Will returned with the beans.

"Put them here!" called Alyss, pointing where they had previously put the green beans. "Now, they're going to need some water to mix with, since they're drier than the green beans." She poured the water in next to the beans. She shut the lid and waited for the machine to _whir._

This time, Halt and Will had expected the noise and therefore they did not jump – no, they didn't!

The three stared incredulously as the dark ambrosia poured into the sort of cup at the bottom.

"It's coffee!" Will cried. He grabbed the giant cup and held it up. "Mm," he sighed, inhaling. "It tastes so good!"

Halt snagged it from him and took a sip. He smacked his lips appreciatively and nodded.

Alyss sipped it carefully. She frowned. "Not the best."

"More for us," taunted Will, snatching the coffee back. "This is incredible," he muttered.

"Have you heard from Will or Halt?" asked Alyss to her mentor Pauline. "I haven't seen hide nor hair of them since they found that coffee machine."

"Me neither," said Pauline. The two women missed the Rangers. "Maybe we should go over there and drag them out?"

Alyss nodded. "That sounds like a wonderful idea," she said.

Shortly later, the two arrived at the cabin in the woods. The door was left ajar and the place was a mess. The chairs were upturned and the beds were unmade. The water pail was empty and their cloaks were strewn across the floor.

"This is the source of the problem?" asked Pauline, pointing at the coffee machine.

Alyss nodded. "Will found it outside there, and then we discovered it makes coffee. Haven't been able to drag them away ever since."

"Can you show me how it works?"

"Of course."

The two rangers ignored the couriers. They were throwing caffeine-induced fits in the corner.

"What about flying pigs?" asked Will excitedly. "If we threw them from one roof, and then you caught them on the other roof, it would look like they flew! Aw man, just imagine how many people we could trick with that...wow..."

"No, no, you're going about it all wrong," tutted Halt. "You need to add some wings to them, make it believable. My grandmother could see through your plan in five seconds! The wings make it look like the pig is _actually_ flying."

"Boys!" shouted Pauline, having had enough of this brouhaha.

The two rangers frowned. They were men, not boys!

"You realise this is ridiculous, correct?" asked Pauline.

"No!" they said in unison.

"This machine is the greatest! It just makes the coffee! No more waiting for boiling water!" Pauline had rarely seen Halt this energetic.

"Look around!" shouted Alyss. "You haven't filled the water pail, dishes are everywhere, the furniture is upturned, and your hair is a mess! You're talking about flying pigs for Morgarath's sake!"

Will and Halt turned to look at each other.

_Suppose they could be right..._ Halt's eyes said.

Will pursed his lips: _Perhaps_, he said in reply.

"All right," Halt said. "You're right."

The women helped Halt and Will clean the cabin, and after bathing and tucking them into bed, they left. But not before snatching the coffee machine and taking it with them.

"Well, this coffee does look pretty good," Pauline ceded.

"Oh no," groaned Alyss. "Not you too!"


End file.
